Karmic Buddha

Damn son, I don't know what has come over me lately, but its like Meloncoly times 3 million. Leading up to this week, I've been pretty good, no depression of any kind. Actually feeling like im on top of the world. But the past few days, have really taken its toll on me.

Its like reality set in once again and fucked my whole head up. I guess its because everything is going great for everyone around me. Which don't get me wrong, Im totally happy for everyone. Brother Chris with his Girl! Brother Dennis with his winnings, and hopefully soon my pa dukes with the promotion.

But such events and triumphs of the people around, have made me take a step back to look at my own situation. I have nothing, basically. I feel like a rope is tied around my neck and ever so slightly tightening around my esophogus.. Like what am I gonna do man? Yeah Ive been foolish, but fuck Im 24, im entitled to being a little dumb with money and just life. But I need to take a bigger role in my life i think.

In 6 years i'll be thirty? And what am I gonna ; nay where will i be then? Still living at home working part time, single and no asperations or dreams?! Fuckin Scary isn't it?! Well im done.. this is always a nice release for me!